Change your expat life
The Cause is in the Future
We are currently trying to purchase a home in Washington, DC, and it seems that every family with kids is looking for the same house as us. We keep losing bids. Sometimes, we don’t even have time to schedule a visit before the house goes under contract.
But here’s what I’ve decided: I’ve decided not to blame the housing market, the government for the FIRTPA withdrawal that I will get back next spring, COVID-19, our agent, the people with more money, or the universe in general.
That’s right. I’ve decided not to blame anyone or anything for my family’s difficulty purchasing a new home.
I’ve also chosen not to feel stressed, depressed, or annoyed. Because I do not have to make anything about this process mean anything about me, our finances, our life, lifestyle, decisions, or everything else.
All my thoughts are optional. And because they are, I’ve chose this one: “the cause is in the future.”
Don’t let the drama sneak in
No matter what life brings, you don’t have to feel at sea. One day, things will make sense. They may not right now. But eventually they will.
That’s what I love about “the cause is in the future.” It’s part of my magic suitcase, the one filled with very empowering thoughts.
All the things we want but do not get? They do not have to mean anything about us. But our brain loves to indulge in drama. It’s the way we’re wired. If we do not watch out, those dramatic and negative thoughts running through our mind will take over and run the show. Negative thoughts are like African wild dogs, constantly on the lookout for their next prey. When we let those wild dogs run wild in our mind, we become prey.
We literally hurt ourselves with negative thoughts.
Stay vigilant around your thoughts
The best way to ensure that we’re not giving into the potential drama or negativity when circumstances are less than ideal is to stay vigilant.
What I recommend is to start thinking of yourself as the “spotter” and start watching for those wild dogs trying to run rampant through your mind. The spotter is the guide—the person who has been trained to identify wildlife and act appropriately when it shows up. When you learn how to observe your thoughts carefully, you realize that you are not your thoughts. Once you make this realization, you can stop taking everything your mind tells you personally or as “truth.” This is when you can drop old beliefs that do not serve you and start living a life that’s yours.
If you want to learn how to become the “spotter” of your wild dogs, check out the Love Your Expat Life Podcast and listen to Episode 1: “Unpack Your Thoughts Before You Move.
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