Loading
Girafe Coaching
  • HOME
  • ABOUT ME
  • WORK WITH ME
  • EVENTS
  • BLOG
  • PODCAST
  • Menu Menu

Change your expat life

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

Recently, at the beginning of an extended stay in France, my family and I rented a small beach house by the Atlantic Ocean to quarantine before seeing family and friends. The beach was miles and miles long with barely anyone else around, and the idea was to learn how to surf as a family while working from home. We all wanted to learn how to surf, and we found an awesome surfing instructor. It seemed perfect.

The wave conditions were good when I headed out for my first surfing lesson, and it was phenomenal. I did not manage to stand on the board much, but I made progress and had a great time. I liked the vibe and enjoyed the group of people I was learning with. I came out of the water exhausted and sure that after 15 days of surfing, I would manage to get somewhere.

Except that it didn’t happen that way.

The night after that first, glorious day on the water, I developed an ear infection that I fought for the rest of the surfing vacation. It was “bye bye” to my plan to learn with the kids and try out something new this summer

Losing our balance — and our cool

Have you ever had plans that did not quite turn out the way you expected?

My summer was full of them. Imagine that you’d decided to rent this beautiful house by the sea. You anticipated a quiet, relaxing, and rejuvenating trip — one that you desperately needed! The day you arrive, the house looks nice, but you notice something unexpected: the house next door is a full construction site! At 7 am on the first morning, you hear the drill. Then workers park next to your house. And suddenly, instead of a quiet relaxing soundscape by the pool, your summer is accompanied day in and day out by the chatter of workers.

I’m sure you’ve experienced some version of having your plans turned upside down, too.

The first thing that tends to happen is that we fight reality. Our human brain tells us that whatever the unexpected change is, it should not be happening. Things are supposed to be different!

The natural reaction in these moments is to fight. For me, this is when I tell myself that the situation is unacceptable and ridiculous. I feel angry. In this instance, I thought about writing the owner of the house, complaining, and trying to stop the work. After all, it’s illegal during the summer months there!

But, as Byron Katie says so well, “when we argue with reality, we lose. But only 100% of the time.

Riding the wave of change — with intention!

The thing is, there are things we can control. Specifically, we can control our own thoughts. But there are many other things we cannot control:

  • Our circumstances
  • The things that happen in the world
  • What people say
  • How others feel

Just to name a very few!

The more energy we spend on the things we cannot control the more powerless, exhausted, and frustrated we become. And yet, don’t we all try to control these things sometimes anyway?

I know I do, and this is what I help client realize, too. Because by recognizing the desire to control things we can’t, we can actually decide how to think about situations that clash with our expectations. Having expectations and dreams is a beautiful thing. However, surrendering all our power to those expectations and circumstances can only create powerlessness, exhaustion, and frustration.

What we can do is look at how each situation is perfect for us. For example, the ear infection helped me slow down, rest more, spend more time with the kids and as a family. And this does not mean I will never surf — which is a topic for another article.

Accepting what is does not mean giving up. It’s the smartest way to save us tremendous time and energy so we can concentrate on controlling how we respond — with intention around what is happening.

Acceptance gives you the space to find ways to get where you want to be.

Intentionally deciding how to respond to what is happening in your life is a skill that, when mastered, can change everything in your life. That’s why my coaching methodology is centered around developing this critical skill.

If you want to gain control over what you want to create, inquire now and join in when the next class starts!

If you like this post, share it with your friends or on social media with Instagram or Facebook! Girafe Coaching is all about helping people like you love their expat life.

SEE MORE

The Journey to Change

January 4, 2022/by Caroline Giffon

Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries …

December 14, 2021/by Caroline Giffon

Do You Know What’s in Your Relationship Manual?

December 7, 2021/by Caroline Giffon

Why Success Doesn’t Always Make Us Happy

November 30, 2021/by Caroline Giffon

How to Keep a Journal

November 23, 2021/by Caroline Giffon

The Four Types of Procrastination

November 16, 2021/by Caroline Giffon
Load more

 

HOME I PRIVACY POLICY I TERMS OF USE I BLOG I CONTACT ME

 

Copyright 2022 Girafe Coaching LLC

Bonsai or Baobab Bonsai or Baobab Let's Do This! Let’s Do This!
Scroll to top

We use cookies on this site to gather data and improve your experience. For more information see our privacy policy.

Accept Cookies

Cookie and Privacy Settings



How we use cookies

We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website.

Click on the different category headings to find out more. You can also change some of your preferences. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer.

Essential Website Cookies

These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features.

Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, refusing them will have impact how our site functions. You always can block or delete cookies by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. But this will always prompt you to accept/refuse cookies when revisiting our site.

We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. You are free to opt out any time or opt in for other cookies to get a better experience. If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain.

We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. Due to security reasons we are not able to show or modify cookies from other domains. You can check these in your browser security settings.

Other external services

We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.

Google Webfont Settings:

Google Map Settings:

Google reCaptcha Settings:

Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:

Privacy Policy

You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page.

Privacy Policy
Accept settingsHide notification only

Join the Girafe Coaching Community!

Be the first to receive the Girafe Coaching Newsletter with monthly tips, strategies and updates.